<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>i can’t explain by mthslh</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22781287">i can’t explain</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mthslh/pseuds/mthslh'>mthslh</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Who (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Falling In Love, M/M, Self-Indulgent, Unrequited Love, alludes to messing around underage, pete .... gay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:07:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>937</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22781287</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mthslh/pseuds/mthslh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Pete is a little in love with each of them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>John Entwistle/Pete Townshend, Keith Moon/Pete Townshend, Roger Daltrey/Pete Townshend</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i can’t explain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pete’s a little in love with them all.</p>
<p>He doesn’t just love them all, of course. Keith loves them all, frequently clinging to John, words of praise spilling from his mouth, and he’ll call Pete up in the dead of night to remind him he loves him. Keith, though, has been attention-starved his whole life. Keith will look at Pete with his sunshine eyes, smile with his face and body and heart, and Pete feels a sharp pang. </p>
<p>Keith takes whatever Pete gives him, although it’s not much. Certainly not as much as Pete would like. He’ll kiss Keith on the cheek or the forehead and his heart will swell and his throat will get a lump and he’ll pull away, Keith none the wiser.</p>
<p>Just once, he’d like to try something more. To wrap an arm around the smaller man, to gently run his fingers through his hair, to kiss him chastely and cuddle him and make him breakfast in the morning. Keith, though, is too fragile, too willing. He gets attached and falls hard, and Pete doesn’t trust himself to be Keith’s rock. For now, stolen glances and friendly “I love yous” will have to do.</p>
<p> Keith loves them all, really and truly, but he’s not in love the way Pete is. Pete’s gone for each and every one of his bandmates. It’s not a hopeless head-over-heels yearning— Pete outgrew that long ago. It’s more of a pain in his heart when he sees them every now and then, when John chews his thumb, when Keith tilts his head, when Roger runs his hands through his hair.</p>
<p>Pete’s a bit infatuated with Roger’s hair, a stark, golden contrast against the rest of their dull browns. Really, everything about Roger contrasts with Pete— petite where Pete is gangly, strong where Pete is skinny, brave and bold and steadfast where Pete sometimes feels cowardly. He’s a shining example of masculinity with his brashness and tendency to show off, and yet somehow he’s still a boyish charmer with pretty locks. He looks like he’s been carved out of marble, chiseled to perfection by a master artist, just to be placed on Earth with people like Pete.</p>
<p>It’s not just his body— he’s awfully talented, too. Sometimes he’s silver-tongued, singing melodies that can almost make even Pete swoon, and sometimes he’s wild, full of hate and rage. He’ll scream his ass off and then go straight to crooning, a trait Pete dearly wished he could possess. He’s a lovely singer but jagged around the edges, broken in places Pete wishes he could fix.</p>
<p>Pete wants to throw him against the wall and kiss him sometimes. He wonders what that crooked smirk would taste like, what that nose would feel like next to his, how he would feel underneath Pete’s grasp. At the same time, though, Pete resigns himself to watching from a distance, every now and then drinking in the sight of the golden boy with the sea-blue eyes, sometimes making eye contact and then looking away. Roger is a beautiful whirlwind, but Pete can’t afford to get caught up in him.</p>
<p>John, just like Roger, has a strong masculine presence. He’s got broad shoulders and a Roman nose and a calming aura. He smiles rarely, but when he does Pete is enraptured— his nose crinkles just so, he seems so <i>blissful</i>, and his mouth opens, showing a toothy grin. He’s self-conscious about his teeth, but Pete quite likes them, likes the character they give him. </p>
<p>Pete may be Keith’s rock, but John is his. John is silent, firm, resolute. They don’t talk about it, but Pete has loved him ever since their school days together, and he’s sure John knows. His first kiss was with the other man under the guise of practicing for his girlfriend, and it had led to more for a blissful few minutes. They knew they’d flown too close to the sun, though, and never spoke about it again. Their silences are always loaded with questions that nothing ever comes of, but all the same, there is a quiet comfort to being with John.</p>
<p>John will often come over when Pete’s sat at a table in the studio and put a hand on his shoulder, a surprisingly gentle touch, and murmur something about lyrics or chords. It’s generally helpful, and even when it’s not, Pete loves to hear John’s growling voice. John’s even softer with Keith than with Pete, and despite a twinge of jealousy Pete loves to see it, loves to see the way they soften with each other. Pete wants to be soft with John too. He wants to wrap his arms around John’s waist and kiss his jaw. He wants to fall to his knees and let John have his way with him. He wishes to redo that night so many years ago— but that can’t happen when he struggles even to meet John’s eye half the time. He knows it’s best for both of them if he keeps his fantasies to himself.</p>
<p>Pete’s madly in love with each of them, albeit in different ways. It’s a dull ache in his heart every now and then, so much a part of him he’s learned to ignore it. He rarely lets his imagination go where it wants, seldom imagining a morning with Keith or planting a kiss on Roger’s collarbone or dinner with John, and he’s convinced himself it’ll never be. They’re his favorite people in the world, and Pete feels lucky he even gets to be around them every day, laugh with them and cry with them and fight with them.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>